Christmas Hope

Year after year on Christmas Eve I felt the weight and anticipation of the upcoming day, hoping for something that would bring me excitement and pride; something that would give me a story to tell, something that would make me feel more like everyone else.  So, as I close my eyes and remember the Christmas’s that defined my childhood as a foster kid, I think back to the generosity of others, the role strangers played in creating memories not just for me but for thousands of other foster kids every year too.  This generosity transported me away from the trauma and reality of my life to a magical place where sugar plums dance, reindeer fly, and a jolly old man delivers gifts. 

Living in a foster home with ten other kids meant celebrating Christmas a night or two before the holiday as most of us would return to our biological families for Christmas day. “Santa” would make a special trip for us resulting in gifts sprawling underneath and surrounding our Christmas tree; gifts of every size masked in beautiful wrapping paper, bows, and bags. A sight many of us had never experienced before.  We all gathered full of excitement and anticipation, finding our spot on the living room floor as our foster mom doled out gifts to each kid.

My heart begins beating a little harder and a little faster as I take one of the gifts in front of me and begin peeling back the red and green paper.  The paper reveals a box and in the box tissue paper covering a piece of clothing. I carefully lift it up and begin to feel the warmth of excitement and appreciation to see an Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeve shirt. It was a magenta red with yellow and orange letters; an expensive brand name that so many of my friends had, a reminder of the life I wish I had and could not grasp. Mall shopping was not something my circumstances afforded me; so, in

that moment I remember my chest bubbling up with emotion, so grateful for this glimpse into what it felt like to wear expensive clothes, for a moment, understanding what it may feel like to be them.

I do not recall most of the gifts I was given during my time in the system, but this one was so impactful because it helped to transport me out of my circumstances, it gave me a glimpse into what a different life would feel like, it gave me hope and aspired me to work for more so I could feel this way again. 

To give to foster kids during this Christmas season is an opportunity to give foster kids a moment of normalcy, a moment of joy, a moment to forget their everyday circumstances. It may be the first Christmas a child has received a gift; it may be the only time of year they receive something that in all other circumstances are out of their reach. It is much more than just giving a toy to a kid; it is giving hope.

Thank you to all who have contributed to creating Christmas magic and giving the gift of hope to the almost 400,000 kids living in foster care this Christmas season.   You are making a difference. The person who donated that Abercrombie and Fitch shirt 25 years ago will never know who it went to and the impact it had, but it made a difference and is a core memory that I will never forget. Be that person this holiday season.